A monster of a manager.

Most of us workers have one thing in common...we all have a boss. Unless you are lucky enough to work for yourself, work at home (ultimate dream for me), or have a boss who really isn't like a boss at all...they are nice, fun-loving, and more like a friend than your higher up. That sounds nice.

In the nursing field, we most always will have someone above us who has the ability to crush us, fire us, undermine us, light us on fire, take away our license, etc. For PCAs and RNs, most of the time that unholy person is our "clinical manager." Also known as "bitch to watch out for." 

My particular experience with my very first clinical manager was less than satisfactory, to say the least. 

During my human resources orientation to the hospital, I remember thinking how strange it was that so many new hires were going to be on my floor. Roughly 75% of my orientation group were going to be working on the same floor as me...that should have been my first clue to get the fuck out of there. But, being the naive little girl that I am, I paid no attention to this at the time. I enthusiastically completed my orientation and finally made my way to the floor...or maybe I should call it the place where all dreams die. 

Let me introduce you to Ursula. Obviously this is not her real name, but seeing as Ursula also doubles as an evil octopus sea monster, I think the name is fitting. Obviously the first time I met Ursula was during my interview for the PCA position. I really didn't have any strong thoughts about her at the time, considering I was in interview mode and was determined to make her like me. I did notice that she walked with a limp. Probably a peg leg from a previous encounter with a disgruntled employee. It wouldn't surprise me. 

As I started to get more accustomed to my position on the floor, I began to notice little things. Like how controlling Ursula was. Control was very, very important to her. Scary important. On each floor of the hospital, we have a time clock where employees can clock in and out each day or evening. Ursula made it a rule that her employees could only clock in/out on her floor (and only her floor) no earlier than 6 minutes before our shifts started and no later than 6 minutes past the time our shifts were supposed to end. If we clocked in or out outside of these time frames, it would be an automatic verbal warning which was documented in our employee file. Along with the warning, we would receive half a point added to our time and attendance record. Points are a bad thing. 

It might be important for you to know that Ursula's rule did not apply to the whole hospital, just her floor. Other floors who had different managers were much more relaxed. Employees talk. It's pretty telling of who you're working for when float pool comes to cover one of your coworkers' shifts and they tell you that the grass really is greener on the other side. 

Ursula was also extremely weird, rude, and bitchy about her employees finding another job, transferring to another floor, etc. My coworkers would tell me stories about how a friend they used to work with handed in her two weeks notice and then Ursula fired her on the spot. Just flat out fired her! The poor girl had a pristine employee record, was a hard worker, had done nothing wrong. My coworkers had lots of stories similar to this. Ursula needs to be in control. What a psychotic bitch. 

My first tiff with Ursula happened about 6 months after I had been working for her. One of my patients that day was recovering from a knee replacement surgery, which was not typical for our floor. This patient and I were getting along great all day, we were joking, we were laughing, I could tell she trusted me. Until her daughters came in to visit around dinnertime. OMG these daughters were the bane of my existence. Suddenly, Mom needed a million things, I was doing everything wrong. They were furious about the way I got Mom up from her chair. They were furious about the way I walked with her across the room to the bathroom. And the worst part is, this sweet little lady also joined in on the bitch act! It's like her daughters peer pressured her into finding a million problems with me.

Before I knew it, one of the daughters turned into miss tattletale and I was being called into Ursula's office. Ursula instructed me to shut the door (never a good sign) and have a seat across from her. I was in the Principal's office.

Ursula began to tell me what one of the daughters had relayed to her, all exaggerated of course, and then started scolding me for not having a second staff member in the room when trying to ambulate this patient to the bathroom. I tried to explain to Ursula that this patient and I had been buddies all day long and had no trouble walking, going to the bathroom, etc. until the daughters arrived. I told Ursula I had been ambulating this woman all day by myself and we didn't encounter any problems whatsoever. She waived off my input all together. I feel like she didn't even register what I had said. It was very clear Ursula was not at all interested in my side of the story. She was only interested in scolding me. Again, Ursula has to be in control.

At the end of Ursula's rant she had the nerve to say, "Are you OK? I don't want you to be upset about this. You look like you're getting upset."

I assured her I was fine and then went to the bathroom and cried for 10 minutes. No big deal.

This may seem like a somewhat mild story to some of you, but it was the first time I had ever had an issue with a boss and it really made an impression on me. I felt so betrayed after being called into Ursula's office, I felt like my employer was not on my side and therefore did not value me as an employee or even as a person. From this moment on, my hate fire for Ursula began to grow. Consider this the very first of the Ursula bitch chronicles.